My dad cheated on my mom and now i have trust issues When my mom cheated on my dad, " My (17M) parents have been divorced for three years now. hes the definition of a saint who couldnt be angered, mostly bc he was in the army. If you and Dad split up I’m okay with it. So trust me, don’t contact her. The issues between your parents, they need to keep to themselves and be grown ups and to this is if it’s a matter of safety for the kid/ they will find out regardless and it’s better coming from a trusted adult over whatever So there you have it. That was fun. Before this they had the perfect relationship, none of us ever saw this coming. Her life was miserable because SURPRISE SURPRISE, my dad was a cheating POS and terrible partner and cheated on her as well. HELP! Update: I did it today it was a disaster. My dad cheated on my mom, twice that we know of. It’s hard to accept that it’s all over now. I feel like I do not know who to trust. I didn't tell my mom because she was abusive towards me anyways so I didn't want to make my situation worse. And frankly, with all what have happened before, I know my dad is great person, and he does really take care of her. The problem is my parents never maried. However, since our recent engagement I have been struggling a lot with him being gone & wondering if he’s taking me down the same rabbit hole my father lead my mother into. Because when he cheated, he chose himself & other Well turns out that’s bullshit. When I heard it I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. Your mom cheated on her partner and they are fighting like wild cats. Understanding the psycho-social problems of vulnerable adolescent girls and effect of intervention through life skill training. She was crying, All I’m going to say now is that you should support your father through this. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. I was very angry at first, and still have times where I get angry. But as I navigated through the various stages of understanding, coping, communicating, and seeking help, I realized that I had become a more So, when I was your age, my dad cheated on my mom with one of her closest friend. ) And yes, he’s an asshole, but I’m also sorry for the loss of your dad - My dad about a year ago got in touch with his ex (she lives in States) through Facebook and they remain in everyday contact via Whatsapp. I'm my 30s and dream of a small family of my own. This is not the first time that he’s cheated on her. My dad cheated on my mom, married that woman, then cheated on that woman and married the new woman. I don't honestly see this pain ending till I die. neither of them have explained much of what happened to me, but my mom did admit that the texts were way more than casual and it’s been implied by both of them that she met up with the other man multiple times. But shadily, my dad always clears his chats with his ex. They were best friends, especially my mom and "Laura". If I reacted in the same way as OP's Dad, she would not be surprised and would be expecting it. Yesterday my mom wanted me to go see a problem with her laptop. I’m only child and I remember when I was a kid, how he used to The father daughter dance. I still don’t. Her father was overwhelmed with guilt and hatred for himself and me, he has since cut ties with me completely begrudgingly. Is it my responsibility to tell my mother about my father’s affair? My this is a heavy & Meenakshi, S. However, after talking to a therapist, I realized that the dreams were actually about my own fear of being betrayed and not So yeah my mom cheated on my dad with her co-workers husband this is the 5th time she has cheated on my dad and again with a It has been 15 years now. My mom has known all of this, and my dad knows that she knows too. If you don't want a relationship with her, that is perfectly okay and respectable. But when kids are involved, it becomes much more complicated. Trust me: Men with 'Mommy Issues' can be terrifying So yeah mom cheated on my dad when I was 19 with a good friend of his, it almost broke my father given that it was a good friend of his that she cheated on him with. This is the normal reason for cheating. I’m heartbroken and need advice 😭 my mom and dad are now working on their I am forever changed. This had nothing to do with me. Mom finding out my dad cheated on her with another woman, Married her and now has a new born baby which is I guess my step sister, my mom sacrificed alot for this relationship to work, she was far from. Fiancé cheated on me with my father. her explanation to me was that there was no love in her I used to be really close to my dad but then he cheated on my mom was I was 13 I have trust issues and while my relationship is going so well I don't want anything and human, and it happens. Yeah it sucks so bad. Hope in Allah. She isn’t taking any blaming for this either and keeps making excuses. She was my mom’s friend, My parents have been married for almost 30 years and I was just told this morning that my dad cheated on my mom. I could have written this. It sucked. 5 years to afford it and it's all she talks about recently, getting everything prepared. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy My stepdad has changed his mind so many times on wanting to leave and then stay and then leave and then stay. I was very angry at him, they separated for a while, he left the region for few months because "My dad cheated on my mom when I was 18. 61–80, 2014, pp. I don’t think I can talk to her about it because it would To give some context, I 16F grew up with divorced parents (they got divorced when I was 2) and stayed mostly of the time at my mom’s house, however my dad has always been caring and loving to me and my siblings (21M and 23F), he has always tried to spend time with us, take us to meet other places, to eat at restaurants etc. First post originally posted on r/relationship_advice When my mom told me my dad cheated and left her for another woman I was in shock. A lot of things were already indicators such as the fact that he sometimes didn't wear his wedding ring when at parties during job missions abroad without my mom (seen on picture),the fact that we started to have less money even though he has a high paying job and my brother is now financially independant. The thing is My dad can't move his bottom body due to a car accident that happened a few years ago. I hope you move forward in a way that gives you peace, OP. All my female friends have been cheated on, and all my male friends have cheated. I read some of the messages, and I can't stop crying. I (23F) just found out yesterday that my dad has been having an affair and my parents are getting a divorce. My dad had been dating a woman, who we’ll call Sam before he married my mother. I have always been okay with him being away. I told her that I'll see it right after I finish (was doing a so yeah, i know something fucked up and it’s like a weight on my chest and i have to let someone know, even strangers on the internet. Fast forward 14 years, I am now 27 My dad continued cheating on my mom, my mom finally caught my dad. I have limited contact with my dad now because he still, years later, cannot handle i, F18, think i caught my dad cheating on my mom 6+ years ago. " She knows all of this about me and realizes I have extreme trust issues. Obviously I learned and stopped but my mom has not. The one on me hit harder to where I didn't really process my mom's cheating on my dad until later; it was too much to take on all at Yep. I was 6 when my mom killed herself because my dad cheated on her. he Curious about my reader’s experience and the issues my own children might one day face, I dove into the research. I think the problem people have is when reddit says it's not anybody business but the couples. She was having an affair with a guy for a little less than a year. Just stay with your mom and treat her well. This situation is very close to my experience, except it has been 20 years since my mom passed away from colon cancer. Could Your Parent’s Infidelity Be Causing Your Trust Issues? Learn to recognize these 7 self-sabotaging side effects of experiencing your parent's infidelity – because if you My dad cheated on my mom several times when I was still a child, he was a compulsive liar, abusive (emotionally and physically) towards my mom, my brother and me. I have always been extremely close with my mom and during my childhood have learned to “not trust” my dad. My father cheated on my mom for years and didn't try to hide it well. I am M39 now. I'm sorry My dad has CONSTANTLY and consistently cheated in every single relationship he’s been in. “I Recently went to visit my dad (haven’t seen him in six years) who cheated on my mom, lived with him and his girlfriend for a month. I feel they all broke up a family, and my brother and I suffered tremendously for it. Really upset. I cant explain the situation fully as it will be soo long. My daughter still has residual issues she is working on. They both fought a lot and had mostly a miserable life together. Mom cheated on Dad My Dad recently caught my mom cheating on my dad. I've also taken a part time at a grocery store to help with money. Do you have another adult you can talk to that you feel safe around. He made all the money and she was a SAHM. I feel absolutely hopeless and devastated. but he never took it far, i respected my dad a lot. I feel like I am constantly watching my mom for signs and further proof of what she is doing. They’ve married for almost 28 years. I was shocked beyond words considering he’s an amazing dad and takes care of Then sadly I noticed I was doing the same w my ex and father to my 7 kids. My sister dropped out but has recently decided to go back to school. I also have a lot of trust issues and have never been married. He lied about cheating over and over, but we, the kids, even saw the obvious signs. It's fine to let it out here. I think it’s good that you allowed your mom to tell her side of the story, now you may have some clarity on her choices and why she acted that way. Last year on Christmas, my dad found my mom texting a guy let's call him 'A'. The cheating mainly happened when my dad was deployed. When i broke the news to my mom about my dad cheating, it spiraled into a 15 year argument with my dad. All I can think of is every bad thing he’s ever done. Really tough. The represented event, occurrence, Adults can be rather selfish. I think that is why I was so stunned and disappointed. Four months ago, my dad slept with one of his sister’s closest friends. I think my dad was a lot like yours, a truly great dad. I am thinking right now to murder that man, but I don't know if this would fix the mental problems I have right now. My parents always had issues but cheating never even was an issue until I was in my mid 20s. We found out when text messages meant for Many adult children who have discovered a parent’s affair say that they develop trust issues that linger long after they have dealt with the logistics of their parent’s infidelity. I was 39 when my dad left my mom after 42 years. I was upset with my dad when I found out. Dad cheated in mom repeatedly, and after divorce, he did the same to his new partner. They’re still young and I want them to grow up with both of my parents. I felt myself loving my mom more and casting aside my dad until I realized something. I haven't told anyone what I know. It's a viscious cycle you do not wanna repeat. Took a long time for me to have a real relationship with him and even now, I don't expect anything. Recently, my parents got separated, witch was hard, but I've come to terms with, and i actually feel closer to both my dad and mom after that. On top of that, ruminating about My dad cheated on my mom with the mother of my brother and stayed with her for like 18 years. I do have trust issues because I’ve seen someone WITH PROOF forgive someone for cheating. Believe me, you can’t change such women/men. Big Mistake. Mom had enough When my father cheated on my mom, I felt as if my world had shattered. You have proof now do it. The next day my dad didn't remember telling me and he still doesn't. We had a family meeting shortly after my post where mom was suppose to apologize to us. 8-month update . At the same time, he and his partner, cheaters as they may be, can also be good supporting family in his adulthood. I am in my early 30s with a toddler of my own, and here is this woman in her 20s, publicly showing everyone how my married, 60+ year old dad has an infant. My dad cheated on my mom with my now step mom. She could have left but she didn’t. My dad says he feels both he and my mom are very lucky to have me and no matter what happens they both love me and we'll always be a family. A week ago my mom found out my dad cheated on her for the last year with another woman occasionally I’m so confused since I’ve always been so against cheating and now this happened in my family : trust, and so many other things. My mom ended up just thinking that she's was making something out of nothing. I (age 21) am going to college (just graduated and starting for a masters ) and living at home, have 1 younger brother ( age 17) and a younger sister ( age 15 ). This is tough. She works a lot and I'm a female teen having a lot of changes happening in my life and during tonight's concert, I discovered my mom being unfaithful to my dad. Caused me It sounds like you father might not even know why your mom killed herself. Question: I am a 27-year-old man and it's been two years since I came to know about my father's extramarital affair. It happened probably 7-8 years ago. I have self doubt, trust issues, my future is unstable. You are angry now, but your mom and dad's relationship is not yours. Which I agree with most of the time. About My mom goes on vacation with her best friend in two weeks and I don't have the heart to destroy it. When he was younger, she ignored him, which caused Dad to have mommy issues. and the more susceptible you are to physical health issues. Mike went on: “She continued on for a while until I finally snapped and said ‘Really mom because your husband is f***ing my fiancé that's why I hit him and if you can't take my word for it, I have a video I'll send it to you’. Pain from an affair can be a rather brutal experience, and I imagine he saw the two of you as a package deal so he figured it'd be best to leave. My father cheated on my mother. She told me I could tell my mom in two years when she finishes college. Long story short, my dad has been cheating on my mom for quite some time now. They are now in the middle of a divorce, because he wants to move in with the b*tch. My mom and dad were dating from high school thay got married after I was born. I suggest you stay out of the relationship that your mom and dad have together. life is good. My dad and the secretary are still together and deny the affair ever happened but the secretary has gotten drunk a few times at family gatherings and spilled the beans. six months ago, my mom, my mom's two sisters, and me, caught my It all fell apart so fast, I couldn’t find the words to try to help her make sense of it all and she left me. My dad prioritizes the family and is very loving, so this situation was such a shock to me. My dad works about a 45 minute drive away from home. I (16f) hate him so much for hurting my mom and betraying our family and I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to (or want to) forgive him. I found a note from the guy and in reading I found out that my dad knew as well. But if our own mothers can lie to us, why would our partners be truthful. My mom and I are both doing really good now thankfully (it was 5 years ago now). But as I navigated through the various stages of understanding, coping, communicating, and seeking help, I realized that I had become a more Hey. My dad and her just got married. Such people can easily lead you astray in your life’s journey if you trust them and have them in your life. So recently I’ve discovered that my dad has been cheating on my mom by texting other women. Years after the divorce was finalized, my mom introduced me to her boyfriend. She had a child who I was friends with, and the two of them used that as an excuse to meet eachother. My dad cheated, I found out and he manipulated me into not telling anyone. At home, it is known between the four of us that dad and his ex are friends. Best advice is to seek therapy. Hi everyone! This is my first post here, please let me know if there’s any formatting issues etc! TW: infidelity Mood Spoiler: Overall sad, but a positive ending I AM NOT OP, OOP IS u/throwRAMOMCHDAD, I’m marking this as ongoing as OOP is going to see their mom next week and there may be a further update. My dad's friend tolerates cheating because he's a serial cheater himself, he even told my boyfriend that all men cheat and that someday he will cheat too. hey guysss! srry for not posting! editing betry avenue videos are SO HARD!!! i will be posting 2 shorts OR 1 video A WEEK! (either SATURDAY or SUNDAY) PART 2 Before that, all my previous boyfriends cheated on me, too. (basically he’s a good father). at the time i didn’t think much and tagged along with my little brother, but looking back it was definitely Whatever the case is, please do know that only your dad can fix this (if he hasn’t already) and he and your mom must work out these issues. (He's dead now so I guess in some sense, they are resolved. Edit: I know this is long, but for some context. I found out my mom was having an affair in grade 11 or 12. I went through therapy for trust issues and my therapist told me “don’t give up because of one bad apple” My 17 mom 38 is cheating on my dad 40. A year after the divorce, my mom is doing okay. But idk. I never would have believed my dad cheated on her. I just hate my mom so much right now. but what can I expect? his own father was a cheater as well. My mom became insecure to the point where she asked to discussed this with dad but he blew it off. ) Where I have made my peace with things is this: I don't forgive him. Don’t you dare call me a bitch. I’ve been in therapy on and off and have addressed this somewhat in therapy, but I sometimes wonder if these trust issues might never fully go away. My parents have been married for over 20+ years. Not only has he used my mom emotionally, but he is also using our family’s and my mom’s financial resources to support his infidelity. I screamed. They didn't divorce until I left for university. And my dad kinda has anger issues so I’m scared if I tell him he will flip out. I just had a conversation with her and she told me that she wants to forgive him because she doesn't want for what they built together for those 30 years to fall apart and to keep them, my brother and me under the same roof for now. of course, marriage doesn't unite them, but the kids do. My mom and I were eating dinner and my dad was outside. And my brother and I had the best childhood. My father's ex has also befriended my mom. Also I screenshoted the conversations. So my dad (45m) recently had an affair with a 20 something year old, my mom (45f) found out and is absolutely devastated. OPs dad might not have been strong enough to handle his mom's illness on his own (affair could have started even before). My dad's cheating messed me up in more ways than one, gave me trust issues and all but I'm glad I didn't hide it from my mom English is not my first language please bear with me. Almost the exact same situation with my dad, my mom and what became my dad's new wife. I feel like he's one of the reason why When my father cheated on my mom, I felt as if my world had shattered. Now their dad is gone, he passed from a stroke aptil 9th of this year and I have many regrets. Our family is really happy together- and as far as I know, my parents haven’t had any serious marital problems or been disloyal to each other. Adult drama, should stay just that. Reply reply My dad continued to have a questionable but normal relationship with A. Because she was cheated on, but also because my dad left me with this burden those years. i go to a ton of party’s, have a boyfriend, have a solid group of friends. I've known about this for weeks now and I have no clue what to do next, at the same time I just want the secret to come out so my mind can finally be at ease. I understand - this exact situation happened with my parents (except I was 5 when my mom died and my dad married his mistress. She saved her money 1. I don’t understand why my mom stayed and it irritates me when she complains about mundane crap my dad does now. I also don’t know how to stop being hurt and feeling rejected over “I used to have recurring dreams about my dad cheating on my mom, which really bothered me. My dad and mom have been married for 27 years now. Even more interesting, you suffer whether you know about the infidelity between your parents or not. They were married for 15 years and there was no signs. I love both my parents but my mother deserved to know. While all this was happening, my father was in England. so, currently im (16f) on a trip with my dad James, my dad's girlfriend Mia (who i think he cheated on my mom with), Mia's little son Alex, and Mia's younger brother. David’s words defied everything I thought I knew about my parents’ story: As a teenager, Dad was the neighborhood paperboy who used to tuck love notes for Mom inside the rolled-up newspaper. And the aftermath led to my mom being so distraught that she took a bunch of pills, and almost died - I was the one who found her, and when I alerted my dad and took her to the hospital, he went on a tirade, Texting all my siblings about how I was trying to break my family apart and essentially he was blaming me for my mom overdosing - painting me out to be a scheming Hello, I am still a teenager living with my mom 44 F and dad 43 M, they have been married for 21 years and have 2 kids. My dad cheated on my mom for about a year. Helpful Posts After 20+ years of my mom and dad being married, this day has come. I have major trust issues. The pain I felt when I saw the anguish in my mom’s face. My dad moved states to live with this woman and start a new life with her. My dad convinced my mom to pay for her tuition again and was her biggest advocate. My Dad cheated on my Mom before I was born and a nosey relative told My dad cheated on my mom with the secretary she hired for his business. I cried. My father is leaving my mom for a woman ten years younger after he cheated on my mom with her. But I've had this with trust issue caused by mom cheating on my dad. You worry about how others see you. last night my dad my sat me down next to my crying mom and showed me texts he sent to some woman he knows. Now, mom and dad have a less strained relationship because time does indeed heal all wounds. Honestly you shouldn't have hid it at all. Our relationship only recently improved because my dad finally grew a conscience but it wasnt for those 15 years. apparently this is not the first time hes texted this woman. Mom is a waitress again. Journal a couple days ago, it came out that my mom was having textual correspondence with another man. here’s where these issues have begun to affect me. When I was 15, after years of my mom’s coercion against it, I grew a spine and made the big switch. What your father decides about his relationship with your mom is none of your business. The thought that my dad is a horrible person has been growing in my mind. My mom isnt okay with the whole situation as it is mentally draining her and my dad doesnt care about her feelings. “My dad cheated on my mom when I was 18. Dad cheating on mom stands your passion and conviction. My father cheated on my mother for 2 years and I still have not forgiven him. You don't have to forgive your mom because her cheating is in a way betrayal to you. Since trust is a big issue here, part of the deal is that you hear confirmation that Mom fessed up, but not from Mom, but from your Dad. Photo by Yan on Pexels. I told my sister and husband, but my husband says I shouldn't say anything to my mom because she would be devastated and has health issues, and we don't know how this could affect her. My mom and dad also planned to go on a vacation in September and my heart breaks every time she talks about it. The divorce was my mom’s idea as far as I know, and still to today my dad and his mom, my Grammy, are very upset with her. I just want you to both be happy even if it means you aren’t together. My dad cheated on my mom with his now wife for six years before my mom found out and eventually left him. Maybe they won’t break up, you never know. My sisters share a bed while my mom uses another. he first did so ten years ago, and my mom overlooked it for me. The past is the past, however. Now, she wears tight clothes and a very small hijab from which you can see her when you caught your mom cheating on your dad and your mom didn’t explain honestly and kindly what was going on, followed by some form of “ you will always live in a home with food to eat, a safe place to sleep, with adults that love you, let you be you (even when you suck) and always tell you the truth, even if they’ve made huge mistakes, because people make huge While she was sleeping, I just wanted to take a picture of my new phone using my mom’s phone, and I found out that my mom had another man. My dad used it to find his now wife. They married in their early 20s, settled in the central Connecticut town where they’d grown up, never separated and together had dropped me off at a college just Dream About Dad Cheating On Mom. My parents have been married for almost 19 years. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Right now my mom is staying with me and my husband, because she has nowhere else to go. They thrive on ruining others homes. The cheating was between my mom and my dad. hello all, my parents have been together for nearly 22 years. My mom (whom he met and dated in high school), my step mom (whom he was married to for 25 years), plus every other relationship he’s been in. They met as teenagers and have been married for almost 30 years. My dad cheated on my mother - 100% - what I did not like was how they managed it after. Bro why haven’t you told your dad oh my god. It was my mom who I didn’t tell. I'm happy I did the right thing. my mom cheated on my dad for almost a year before my dad found out and I feel completely different than you. DDay - the day the affair was discovered by the betrayed partner; Mad Hatters - couples who have both cheated on each other; Revenge Affair - having an affair to punish your cheating partner; Wayward/Wandering - the partner who has cheated **Check out our list of common abbreviations and terms here. her family because her family didn't trust my father, she wouldn't talk much with any other guy and etc. I think rn he wants to stay with her as he wants the kids to grow up with both parents until they turn 18. i found out my dad cheated on my mom for six months now and me and my Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. There is no excuse for what she did & this is not to take away from that — However, when I look at my parents problems as a married woman, I see everything differently. I found out at 12. Dad and mom were showering each other with love like never before. Many things can be true at the same time. It must have been so nice to finally get the attention and love your husband should be giving you. I found out around six years back that he was having an affair. My parents both cheated on each other. She also had postpartum My mom knew about the cheating yet, similar to your mom, after leaving she came back. I only took the job to help my My parents have been together for over twenty years and married for about 11, I believe. my mom cheated on my dad IN FRONT OF ME when I was 6 years old. I suppose I would have told my dad if he didn't know already. ” She started laughing and said what half sister? I had realized then that she had no idea my dad cheated on her and my dad lied about telling her. I imagine I will reply based on my personal experience. During my stay with him and his gf, he acts like nothing has happened and avoids talking about my mom. My dad still goes on tangents about her, and doesn’t understand that while I think my mother’s adultery is absolutely disgusting and I don’t respect her nearly as much as before, I’m not picking sides like that. My parents, to my perception before all of this was revealed, have been “happily married” for 30 years. never did I imagine that I'd have a traitor as a father. Mostly I remember the disappointment I felt in my dad. Dad has always been someone whom I've respected on a deep level as he is extremely intelligent and rational, but he also clearly has problems. I just found out my dad cheated on my mom. If you dream about dad cheating on mom, you’re new to new ideas. My ex-grandma was the worst mother to my father. The worst part of this is that she didn’t just hurt and manipulate my dad, she manipulated me too. My dad was in a really bad state which is why I didnt feel like scolding him about it and also it wasnt sure. . If your Dad is in a good relationship now, and doesn't cheat on his wife, then he has grown, and learned. The usual 'I love you's 'I miss you's and hours of calling on the phone. I love my dad and also my mom regardless what have she done. My parents and my grandparents all still think I don't know. My parents divorced 3 years ago and I wish my mom would have done it way sooner so she could have been happier a long time ago. He continued to text her about all of his fights with my mom and all of the things he disliked about her. It is hard when you’re in the position. I don't think I could trust myself being around her or my father even if it meant losing all access to my child. my mom used to be suspicious of him over these kinds of things, one time tagging along on one of his work trips and sneaking out during their cocktail get-together to see if anything suspicious was happening. Adult drama. When I started school, my mom not only cheated on my dad with two men simultaneously, she decided to marry one of the guys she was having an affair with, because my father did not forgive her this time and, according to her, “it felt good to be appreciated by another man at that time. I wouldn't. My fiance travels, and we have never had an issue with trust before. for as long as i’ve known, my parents haven’t had any big fights or anything. I’m now 31 and have good relationships with both my parents and even a decent relationship with my now stepmother, but the trust issues from processing my dad’s affair at a pivotal age remain. I sleep on the floor now. my mom is heartbroken, feels like its her fault for not being emotionally available enough. Mom was depressed and did not get any help and my dad was denying the fact he cheated (he is still with the women after 14 years so it wasn’t just a fling, he really fell in love with someone else). They are getting a divorce. I feel so bad. I came to know about it accidentally when he was talking on the phone. Eventually my dad became pretty succesful and my parents own a very nice home and a couple of cars, but everything is legally owned by my dad only. ” The only reason I haven’t told my dad or confronted my mom is because she is cheating on my dad with my uncle. He married new wife/former long term affair My mom also cheated on my dad with my stepfather and possibly others (she claims it was just one person but I remember her taking me along to meet another guy too). The guy and my mom eventually married, so that's something I guess. -If my own mom would cheat, what is stopping my own partner? I am shocked that my mom being unfaithful makes me feel so betrayed. Because of this, I've had trust issues and continue to have trust issues. Mom said she was lonely and even when my dad was on leave he was cold to her because of his PTSD. After that everything went fine. My dad struggled with depression and trust issues for a long time and even cut out his entire social circle of friends he just locked himself away. My mom cheated on my dad when I was 14, Do you maybe have a trusted family member you could talk to first or one of your mom's so i’ll start with this, my mom and dad have been together for a little over 30 years. So I talked to my mom and basically told her “I know about my half sister. We found out when text messages meant for my dad were sent to my brother (from her) by mistake! It’s been 10 years, and I still haven’t gotten over it. In February of 2019 my mom started acting strange, now before I get into that I just wanna say before all this happened she was a wonderful talk to Ellie, let her know you need to get help with your trust issues caused by what your My father cheated on my mom, left us at a very young age and it took a long time for me to forgive A month ago my father (57 years) admitted to my mom (58 years) he had a year and a half affair with a woman he met during a business trip. She started this affair when my For context, my mother and sister have a very bad relationship. I learned through my Mom that he cheated on her all Your dad cheated and your mom does not know. We've been dating for the past 5 year!. So, last week, I sat down with my dad and I was very honest. My dad cheated on my mother for years with different women. As for my dad, I see him differently as a person but he’s still my dad. Mom confessed that it was an unmarried guy friend from XYZ introduced by her female friend. edit - I am aware my partner is not the same person as my mom. My mom was absolutely heartbroken. It broke my heart that my mom had to go through that, and honestly we would have been fine if they had. I could not understand how my dad did that to my mother, who was sexy, amazing, perfect shape, a doctor with a thriving career, smart and funny, blah blah blah. I adore my mother. they're not married, but there are three children (including me) in the middle. Focus on yourself right now and draw close to Allah. me(15yr male), and 4 other kids (all female and over 20). My father (54) works as an engineer and usually has to travel a lot for work. The woman has always been trying to separate our family. My parents have been married for 34 years and have known eachother for 42 Take it from someone who didn’t learn until later in life that their mom stayed with dad just for us kids. My mother cheated on my father, a lot. One of my siblings is my half sibling from my mother’s (44) previous marriage. My dad’s phone rang so my mom picked up its was the other woman He came back in they had a huge fight I went in my room and put my headphones in I didn’t want to hear a thing. I’m left now with no one, I feel like my heart was torn from my chest and I’ve been left to die cold and What my dad is doing is dragging our family down. They even renewed their wedding vows, and went back to normal. I did it for my siblings. she laid in my bed and just sobbed last night, and told My dad did some more digging and confirmed his suspicions about an affair and she admitted to it and said it was with Will. I know what it’s right but I can’t do it. I found out about the affair when I was 13/14 and my mom and dad stayed together until I graduated. At the time I knew something was off, I know a lot more now. However, reading this - I am so sorry. I was only ten when I started discovering my dad’s affairs with multiple women. I grew up hating him. I don’t want to confront her because I don’t want my parents to divorce. When parents cheat, their children are just as much a victim as the spouse. THIS & the original comment above. You are considered a survivor, too. He never married her either, although she wanted him to. Mine and my dads relationship is great now but I constantly feel scared and have to work and convince myself that my partner isn’t going to cheat on me. However now that my mom is living with her friend, my dad hasn’t left his bedroom and I bring him meals to his door. I’m 15, with an 18 year old brother, and my parents have been married happily for 20 years. I am so angry at my dad right now, and my respect and trust in him as a father and as a man has been lost. (2023). My parents cheated on each other, but my mom is now married to one of her APs and has been for over 20 years. you may experience trust issues and you may internalise the bitterness that your parents will 4 days ago i discovered that my dad is cheating on my mom. 75–83). I accidentally stumbled across his Facebook DMs with this other woman. Here’s some info. Okay so a little background, I (F 16) have 4 siblings. My child, trust in God’s (Thorson, 2013, pp. I took everyone by surprise because they seemed fine and happy. Remember, there is always hope in Allah when we sin, when we fall short and when we lose our way. My mom found out he cheated by finding lipstick smudges on his work shirt and Yes, he may love you, but that doesn't make you obligated to feel the same. I am still crushed. She also payed my college fees because I was too poor to do it. I don’t know if I should tell her I know or keep it secret and pray for the best. i’m 18, in college, and doing very well. Anyway, this happened today, my Grammy is prone to ramble with nonstop talking. My dad told me 'he fell in love with another woman'. He met all the women he cheated with at the same job. Just be there. I have no advice. TLDR; My dad cheated on my mom their whole marriage, she has forgiven him and they are happier than ever. Anyway, I been looking up advice and what I should do and all responses were saying things like “Parents are human too blah blah tell your dad but get prepared for a divorce. Keeping your boundaries was good!! I don't think I could trust myself being around her or my father even if it meant losing all Yeah - my dad cheated on my mom growing up and I was used as an excuse for my dad to see his gf. My mom had a drunken one night stand and my dad had an affair that lasted months. I used to look at their marriage as something to strive for, they were the blueprint, I wanted what they had. My current partner and I have discussed this from time to time - how people with children who cheat aren't just hurting their spouses, they are also hurting their own children and destroying the family. When we (my mom, my sister and I) confronted him, he said he was sorry, that he didn't feel anything for her anymore, blah blah blah. My dad cheated in a really sly and horrible way, always letting us believe he was meeting friends or doing some hobbies. I (14M) got asked by my dad (40M) if I wanted to fuck some bitch, question which I said yes to because I thought i was going to be the only one having sex, but, oh boy i wasn't, and now i don't know if i should tell my mom, she is always nice to me but I don't know if i should tell her because if i dont tell her and she for some reason discovers that i was there when my dad cheated on Fiancé cheated on me with my father. My dad’s brother. Your dad made the decision to basically abandon the right to have you and your mom love him and your mom is super forgiving to be willing to take him back and he turned her down. How could you not care one of your parents has been wronged? Deciding whether to confront a parent or disclose their infidelity to the other parent requires careful reflection on motivations, potential outcomes, and guidance from trusted My dad and mom have been married for 27 years now. Focus on how to support your mom and be there. Everything seemed so good between them. they had 5 children. All around this sounds like a very gray moral area of whether you should interfere or not. My mom was heartbroken, shattered, mentally unstable. Don't take offense to your step-dad bailing, he most likely did so for self preservation. We'd argue and I'd ask the kids who was wrong. I never told him I knew about it all. It broke his heart but he put on a brave face when he told my brothers and I. I never would have expected my dad (who is a very successful Bible teacher) to cheat on my mom as it goes against everything I thought he was. And that woman is now my step mom. I have (had) unresolved serious issues with my father. I really don't know. I dont think cheating is ok, but I am older, and can now look back to see that my mother was abusive in a very manipulative way for many years. Before we went to my country, my mother was very religious and a practicing Muslim. If not this won’t stop, and obviously they have intimacy issues that need to be worked out. though, since i was little my dad has always been one to get mad/irritated kinda easily. We’ll call him Brad. To provide some background information, my mom (47F) and dad (52M) have been married for almost 28 years. I don’t like Brad. You realize all these things and understand that you will never do that to another person. I don't. ” When I learned of my parents’ divorce, I was devastated. My boyfriend kept saying he would never do that to me but my dad's friend kept on saying that he doesn't believe him and that someday he will cheat too. I've also had sleepless nights and am unable to look my dad the Listen, I know it's really tough right now. Please help me! I (14M) got asked by my dad (40M) if I wanted to fuck some bitch, question which I said yes to because I thought i was going to be the only one having sex, but, oh boy i wasn't, and now i don't know if i should tell my mom, she is always nice to me but I don't know if i should tell her because if i dont tell her and she for some reason discovers that i was there when my dad cheated on This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Hes 15yrs older than her, but hes amazing with me and treats everyone well. It's vital to note that, up until June 2022, ex-grandma and dad had avoided one another like the absolute plague. My mom and dad live in different countries because of his job and the woman works under my dad while he is completely funding her life. My dad (63) and I (M28) have not have the best relationship mainly because of how bad he treated my mom in the past and how he only focused on spending time and helping his brothers. i went back to oregon to visit during thanksgiving back in november, and my mom has always been kind of been secretive I still, over forty years later remember the pain I felt knowing my family would never be the same. Is there something more I can do for them? TL;dr My mom cheated on my dad and I don't know what to do I (20M) have a girlfriend (21F). Allah knows best and is most merciful. My mom is heavily pressuring me to just go back to normal, forgive him and move on, and while I feel I have forgiven him, I dont trust him yet and I dont want a cheater involved in my wedding. This gives your Dad an opportunity to communicate with you his side of the story - rarely are these types of things purely one-sided, though your Mom, given the evidence, is clearly the one with most of the fault here. Then in 2014, right after my birthday, he died from Everyone in the family says I am doing a good job. I'm 32 now, my dad cheated on my mom when I was 10-14. i was tired and sat down for the rest of the concert while my mom texts on her 3 years ago (before the pandemic) we discovered that my dad had been cheating on my mom (who is winning against cancer) for 4 months. I cannot My mom cheated, it was a horrific divorce. I really love her , She's beautiful but the best thing about her is her personality. Over time, Mom and A grew apart and their friendship fizzed out. My mom just quit her job (working woman for 40 year) and she now NEEDS someone next to her - she has back problems, knee ligament problems. I don't know how to navigate this. I was cheated on around the same time I found out my mom had cheated on my dad, so they both hit hard in different ways. It turns out that, yes, it is very common to inherit some nasty issues after your family gets hit with infidelity. My relationship with him is the same (we’ve never been super close). My life was a mess because they did not want to talk. My family is messed up but I don't regret the choice I made. gsc hedsmtj kjjg wehil rpmpldtv alqwtn jmn sbroew osbmzw fjwce